- Engineering

The Ultimate Collection of Engineering Jokes

While you might not be able to tell when speaking speaking with one, most Engineers tend to have a wonderful sense of humor. In an effort to dispel one of the oldest myths about engineers, we have collected the following series of engineering jokes. We hope you find them as humorous as we do:)

Three Metal Spheres

The local university recently decided to present it’s professors with a test. Three metal spheres were placed on a table, and the professors were told to do whatever they wanted with them. Each professor had an hour alone in the room with the three metal spheres. After an hour, the Math professors emerges and the balls are arranged in the form of a triangle. Next, the Physics professor emerges from his room; the balls are stacked one on top of the other. Finally, the Engineering professor emerges from his room. One ball is broken, one ball is missing, and he is carrying the third one out in his lunchbox.

Malfunctioning Windows

Three engineers are driving in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a software engineer. The car stops running, and they pull of onto the shoulder of the road to inspect it. The electrical engineer suggests that they strip down the electronics of the car in an attempt to trace where a fault may have occurred. The chemical engineer suspects that the fuel is becoming emulsified and suggests that they focus on the fuel system. The software engineer suggests closing all the windows, getting out, getting back in, and opening all the windows again to see if that helps.

The Retired Engineer

After 30 years of loyal service, John the Engineer retired from his company. Several years later, the company was having problems troubleshooting one of their new multi-million dollar machines. Nobody on staff could figure out the problem, so they contacted John the Engineer. John spent the next day studying the machine. At the end of the day, he marked a particular component with a small “x” in chalk. The part was replaced, and the machine immediately started working again. A short while later, the company received an invoice for $75000. After demanding an itemized invoice, John the Engineer responded with the following: 1 chalk mark – $1.00, Knowing where to put it – $74999.00

The Lost Balloonist

A man is flying in a hot air balloon, but realizes he is lost. He spots another man down below, and lowers his balloon to ask for directions. “Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if you could help me? I’m lost and I was supposed to meet up with a friend half an hour ago. The man on the ground says, “Well, you are in a hot air balloon. You are hovering at approximately 30 feet, and you are between 40 – 41 degrees N. latitude, and between 58-59 degrees W. longitude.” “You must be an engineer,” replies the man in the balloon. “Indeed I am,” states the man on the ground. “How did you know?” The balloonist says “Everything you have told me is technically correct, but I am still completely lost.” The man on the ground says, “Hmmm, you must be a manager.” To which, the balloonist asks “How did you know?” The engineer replies, “You don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise you cannot keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but somehow it’s all my fault.”

The Human Body

Three engineering students are sitting around talking about who might have designed the human body. “It must have been a mechanical engineer,” says the first student. “The human body has all sort of levers and pivots and stuff. Only a mechanical engineer would have designed all of that.” The second student replies, “No, it must have been an electrical engineer. Think about the complex way that the nervous system is wired up to the brain.” The third student replies, “No way, dudes. The human body was definitely designed by a civil engineer. Who else would have run a waste water line through the recreational area?”